Stopped in my tracks

Oh my goodness! I was having an OK day.

Not too bad.

Then.

WHAM!

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

Sadness. Loneliness. Completely overwhelmed with it all.

Paralyzed.

Like someone is ripping my heart out.

The tears are there, trying to break free.

Why? Why do I feel this way?

I mean, I kinda know why. I mean my life is not all hunky-dory. In a bad marriage. Solo parenting while he works a temp job 3 hours away. 2 special needs kids. A sister losing her battle with Leukemia. And no one to share it with. No one to help take the misery away. No one to wipe my tears.

I don't have many real life friends, and none close to me.

And all of this has stopped me in my tracks today.